"You may delay, but time will not!"~ Ben Franklin

I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go." John 21:18


Time has certainly happened quickly to Gramma.  It seems to have gone so slowly for the rest of us as we've watched her go from a feisty o'l lady determined to "get better!", to a scared, ailing women in constant fear.  The past few months were chaotic and our days were busy deterring aggressive, demented behavior with latches, locks, medication and distractions.  Now she's mostly silent and has a blank gaze.  I remind Gramma to drink water and how to put one foot in front of the other so she can move in the direction she desires to go.  She can often get the hang of it and wander through the house but, if unsupervised, she likely forgets what she's supposed to do somewhere in the midst of a vacant room and falls.  The pain doesn't even seem to register with her anymore.  She's got a large bruise on her forehead from losing her footing, overreacting and falling head first into the metal frame of her hospital bed. 

As much as her silent gaze has been a minor break from the chaos of aggression and fear, the change has made me sad.  Tonight, I changed her clothes and undergarments like I always do. I cleaned her floor, put clean sheets on her bed, gave her meds, helped her into bed and then pulled up the guard rail.  I would normally tell her I love her and turn out the lights before closing and latching her door, but tonight, I stroked her hair and told her that I was glad she was there.  I hugged her and she thanked me and told me she loved me.  I knealed at her bedside and prayed with her.  She thanked God, in the only intelligible way she could, for the children and the events of the day when the little ones ran all over the house and Sarah spent time brushing her hair.  We closed and she smiled.  I felt good leaving her, knowing she had a moment of peace and comfort.  Forgetting to spend time with her weighs on me.  I guess it's the same guilt parents have with their children at the end of the day.  I realize that each moment could be her last and each day whittles away at her mind and body.  I am thankful for today and I remembered that I love her dearly.

Passing the time...

Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels. Heb 13:10

There is little Gramma can do for entertainment, although she complains regularly that she wants to get out and do things.  When we do take her out, she is ready to go home by the time we get her in the van! 

Her new favorite pass time is sitting in the rocking chair on the front porch.  She tells me that she's going out to see "that woman" she talks to.  We have never ever seen a woman outside and we've never seen her talking to herself or anyone else out there.  I must assume that God is meeting her need to socialize and has brought her company in the Spirit.  She comes inside very satisfied that she has kept good company!  I thank God for the little things!

Maddie visited Gramma on the porch!

Gone today, here tomorrow!

“You heard me say, ‘I am going away and I am coming back to you.’ If you loved me, you would be glad that I am going to the Father, for the Father is greater than I.  John 14:28

Well, the path of dementia has so many ups and downs!  Some days it seems we are moments away from an inevitable end, other days she's giving us free stand up comedy!  Earlier in the week she had spent two whole days talking to herself.  I had to go in her room every so often and make sure there was really no one there!  She fell twice that day and bruised up her back and elbow and has a nice little spot on her forehead. The next day, she heard John and I having a "discussion" and she wanted to counsel me.  She knew what she was talking about and said that all she wanted was to see the two of us TOGETHER!  Another day later, she pretended she was dying for about five minutes until I ignored her and walked out of the room.  Then she packed everything she owns up into a suitcase, stripped her bed, put three layers of clothing on and came out to wait for "them" to come and get her!  Once she was distracted, we put all of her things away and made her bed.  Later she said asked me "Wasn't I supposed to be going somewhere?"  I told her no and she cried and apologized.  She thought she had hurt me and told me she was crazy. 

So here we are today!  Gramma went to church, worshiped and prayed and came home to take a nap.  She woke up and came to spend time with us and played with Emily, pouring ice water on her feet.  They watched TV and she cracked up at the boy on "Wizards of Waverly Place" when he couldn't push the chair in for a chubby girl he was dating and pulled the table over to her!!!  Gramma is like a box of chocolates, "You never know what yer gonna git!"


Unless you have ever cared for the elderly, you have no idea what daily life brings. "Gramma proofing" requires more creative skillt than child proofing!  Gramma's can think up way more dangerous ways to entertain themselves that a two year old!  It isn't pretty, fun, or glamorous.  It IS humbling, emotional and spiritually gradifying! 


Watching her deteriorate has challenged the whole family.  We sometime forget that she needs us to sit and talk with her, even if no one has a clue what she is talking about, not even her!  Remember to pray for Gramma as she continues to walk closer to the Father because where she is going, there we will be also! 

Gramma talking to a pig puppet! "How do I look? Not good huh?" puts the puppet down!

Daniel's Visit!

" Then the king gave Daniel high honors and many great gifts, and made him ruler over the whole province of Babylon, and chief prefect over all the wise men of Babylon." Daniel 2:48

I've always favored my brother Daniel!  I used to be his caretaker when I was six years old.  I babysat him and was the FIRST to carry him when he was born, I was there!! 

Given our "rocky" childhoods, I was seperated from him by the time I was 13 and did not come back into his life until I was 17 and a mother.  By then, there was much damage done by words and influences regarding who I was and who I had been.  He didn't know me and I didn't bother to try and know him.

Over the years we continued to be serperated by distance, circumstances and my mother's death.  Although I grew close to Gramma during that time, Daniel had only met her and spent time with her a few times but wanted to come and see here while he was in town.  I have always longed for my relationship with Daniel and  I wondered how it would be when he saw Gramma. He knows the truth, he seemingly BELIEVES the truth, but has faltered in his faith.  He has a prophetic gifting and knowlege and wisdom but is not walking spiritually and finds his "gifts" to be an annoyance and cause him to judge others. 

Gramma was elated when he came.  She took his hand and smiled from ear to ear.  Daniel was genuinely interested in her and attentive to her words and questions.  She shared some of her experiences of Christianity and she told "jokes" and laughed. 

Before he left, Gramma seemed emotional and sad.  She took his hand and placed it on her head and prayed.  She told God to make it well with him and told him that "It will be for you with God.  It will be through me!"  It made me emotional and she cried and was dissappointed when he told her he would be back next year.  She said that was too long and she may not be alive!  I pray the Lord spoke to him.  I pray he sees how real our God is and how real Grammas salvation is by an all powerful God.

Gramma has been very aggitated and discontent lately.  She is "bored" and knows things are not right with her brain.  Today she said that sometimes she wishes God would just come and get her.  It's too hard to keep going all the time.  Gramma still has a purpose and I pray that, in all the daily work and frustrations, I don't forget that purpose!

 "Chag sa'may'ach"  Happy Passover!

Baptized in Christ, raised anew!

 He that believes and is baptized shall be saved...  Mark 16:16

Today we celebrated the completion of Gramma's confession of faith in Jesus Christ, her Messiah!  We traveled home to Bethel Worship Center where Pr. Scott had water brought in from the Jordan River in Israel. We decided that a total "immersion" would not be safe or reasonable for Gramma but a "sprinkling" or anointing with water would be sufficient as a symbol of baptism.  God is not a legalist and this day was ordained by Him! 

We were joined by our extended family, old and  new.  Four chairs were set out, one for Gramma, one for my mother (honorably filled by Laura Wilson), one for me and one for Ayana to represent the four living generations of our family.  Gramma was graced with a telete (Jewish prayer shawl) and Pastor Scott was covered in his telete.  He anointed all four of us with the water and also Gramma's hands and feet.  Our extended family in Christ stood behind us in intercession and support.  Gramma began to share her testimony and the Spirit flowed! 

After all was said, Pr. Scott asked the Lord for a word which was given in the Spirit and soon translated.  God's word was that the last generation in our family had come to Christ and the "black cloud" had been lifted off of our family.  This was so significant since my siblings and I had always referred to the "black cloud" that seemed to linger over us.  It has been lifted and Victory is ours!  Gramma cried and was filled with the Spirit.  It was an emotional time for many of us and not a person in the sancuary was unmoved by the power of Almighty God.  Gramma IS SAVED BY GRACE!  She is washed in the blood and has seen His face!  Her testimony will lead many to Christ in the years to come.  We are so honored to have  been used to fulfill this promise of salvation and to defeat the enemy with the word of our testimony!

Pictures still to come...

Happy Birthday Dear Gramma!

Today was Grammas 87th Birthday, a milestone most will never see, and fewer will share joyously with a loved one as we did today.  Every morning I quietly observe Gramma through the glass door panes in the french doors to her bedroom to see if there is any movement or sound.  I tip toe in, hoping to relieve the initial anxiety of whether or not she has lived to see another day, yet not wanting to wake her once confirmed.  EVERY morning she pops open her eyes and says "What's going with you?"  Sometimes I respond by telling her "I'm just making sure you're still alive!"  She says "Am I?"  Then we laugh and I tell her to get some more sleep!

There have been several nights lately that she will take my hand and thank me for all I've done for her and she tells me that God sent her here because He knew she needed to be here.  Once I came in and she covered her face with both hands and bawled.  When I asked why she was crying, she told me that she doesn't know what she did to deserve all that we've done for her and why so many others never have what she has.  She is thankful for every moment and told me yesterday that she was not afraid to die.  She told me that she feels like He wants her to go sometimes and she asks Him for a little more time.  He tells her that she can because she asked!

Tonight, Gloria Malcom and her son Daniel came over for cake and Birthday wishes.  They brought her a nice, personal gift and then she cried as she prayed before blowing out her candle.  Her speech is less and less discernible, but her heart is easy to understand.  She poured her heart out for a good five minutes before blowing out her candle.  What a special day it is to see a woman turn 87 years old and bless God for every moment and every breath He gives her.  Shouldn't we all feel this way?  It is easy to see why she is grateful since she is so close to death, or life in the case of the believer!  But aren't we all close to death?  God hasn't promised any one of us tomorrow.  If only we all treated each day as if tomorrow may never come, we'd show such gratitude when we woke up in the morning and breathed in the air that God created for us to breath.  It's HIS air, shouldn't we thank him for it?  When Pastor Brandon put it that way, I felt foolish for not treating the air as if it were God's and I should be thankful that He lets me breathe it!!!   Gramma is thankful because every breath could be her last.  Lord, give us the reverence and fear that causes us to fall prostrate before you at the awesomeness of breathing~Amen!

Gramma bows her head to pray!

Thanking me for having her here.

Blowing out her candle on her 87th birthday!